Mixed Media Artist : Oregon

Journal

I give up!

I GIVE UP , says every artist in the history of the world at one point in his/her career.

That struggling moment when nothing feels right, everything you do seems to fall like sand through your fingers.

You are working so hard, long hours , sweating , bleeding, but inside  the 'feeling' has lost it's luster , the pilot light needs a re-boot.

Earlier this year i was pushing through a series of works on paper, getting work ready for an art  opening and challenging myself to stay more 'free' less analytical...Very FUNNY ( i now think this is not possible for me...ha ha ) but anyway , working on pieces, loving some, hating others , screaming at myself, laughing at the wall, pulling my eyelashes out one by one.......you all know what I'm talking about, don't even try to lie, you ALL do it!

This piece in particular , i HATED!

The funny thing is, at the end of all the pushing through , love actually grew where disdain once lived. I took time away from this beauty , meditated, relaxed, came back and saw her with fresh eyes , and kindness in my heart. 

On a whim I chose this piece to enter into a national Works on Paper Juried Art Show and out of 300,00 applicants , this sweet piece was chosen to be part of the 70 entries  to be included in the National Gallery Exhibition and then chosen to have a seat in a winning spot as part of the gallery's permanent collection!  

And all this came from the original HATE , Frustration, Tears, eyelash pulling........

What if I stopped at that point, the point of I GIVE UP???  What if I did not return , push through , relax into the process? What if I did not find the courage to love? 

Fragile McNeese National Works on Paper, Permanent Collection

Fragile

McNeese National Works on Paper, Permanent Collection

I see this as the proof , we CAN get past these blocks, we CAN  and WILL create beauty with meaning for sharing in this world

xo Christina